George Carlin... dead

I've always been fond of saying that comedians are the prophets of our age. Among them, George Carlin was the greatest.

I started listening to him when I was 13 - A Place for My Stuff. With the volume so low we could barely hear it, my cousin and I tried as hard as we could to keep our laughter quiet so we wouldn't get caught listening to dirty jokes. We were rarely successful. Later in life, he taught me so many things: That it was the absurdities of life that made it both intolerable and interesting. That outrageous statements and behavior were ok. That I didn't have to think or speak like everyone else. That social mores are arbitrary and ridiculous. The joy of fucking with the English language and that words were more important than almost everything else. That intelligence is more important than compassion. I can't credit (or blame) him with my liberal use of dirty words, but he was obviously an influence.

He's also the reason I don't have a tattoo, reminding me on one of his specials that they can be used for positive identification.

Some of my favorites:
(apologies for the paraphrasing)

• "You over here. You seven. Baaad Wooorrds”
• (As Jesus) "I really coulda used a bicycle. You realize all the walking I did?”
• (Still as Jesus) "[The loaves and fishes]wasn't a miracle. Turns out, people were puttin' 'em back. Didn't like 'em."
• "Fuck the children!"
• "L.A. is a small woman saying, 'Fuck me.' New York is a large man saying, ‘Fuck you!’"
• "Apparently, in Los Angeles, people will stand on a corner, even when there's no traffic (or very little traffic that you could easily dodge) and wait for a light to tell them that it's OK to proceed."
• "If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem."
• "Nigflot blorny quando floon!"
• “Even in a Disney movie you can say, ‘Snatch that pussy and put it in a box.’”

My very favorite, since the first time I ever listened to him:

Ratshit! Batshit! Dirty old twat!
Sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot!
Hurray, lizard shit!
Fuck!

Exactly.

Read More...

Summary only...