Thursday, June 26, 2008

Midwest v. New Orleans

It was bound to start eventually.

Here's a good piece on the current hard-working, small-town whites > shiftless, urban blacks crap.

I'm Callin' Bullshit
There's been a recent spate of right-wing blogs all saying the same thing:

"Now, I'm not racist, but how come all those small-town Iowans are so much more supportive and self-reliant than those big city New Orleans folks were during their disaster?”

--- takes a special sort of blinded gall to ignore Iowans getting reimbursed almost entirely for their damages and then complain that Katrina victims are sucking on the government teat...


Of course, Iowans are a lot more likely to receive giant agricultural subsidies, but I understand that accepting such money does not in any way make you less self-reliant or salt-of-the-earth.
Interesting stuff in the comments, too, such as:
I’m not sure why the right-wing pundits are crowing about Iowa. We have a Democrat governor and a Democrat majority in our state congress, plus the majority of our national congressmen are Democrats.
This would be funny if it wasn't so fucking infuriating. Check out the actual blogs he links in the post.

Thanks to the Mighty God King.


Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin... dead

I've always been fond of saying that comedians are the prophets of our age. Among them, George Carlin was the greatest.

I started listening to him when I was 13 - A Place for My Stuff. With the volume so low we could barely hear it, my cousin and I tried as hard as we could to keep our laughter quiet so we wouldn't get caught listening to dirty jokes. We were rarely successful. Later in life, he taught me so many things: That it was the absurdities of life that made it both intolerable and interesting. That outrageous statements and behavior were ok. That I didn't have to think or speak like everyone else. That social mores are arbitrary and ridiculous. The joy of fucking with the English language and that words were more important than almost everything else. That intelligence is more important than compassion. I can't credit (or blame) him with my liberal use of dirty words, but he was obviously an influence.

He's also the reason I don't have a tattoo, reminding me on one of his specials that they can be used for positive identification.

Some of my favorites:
(apologies for the paraphrasing)

  • "You over here. You seven. Baaad Wooorrds”
  • (As Jesus) "I really coulda used a bicycle. You realize all the walking I did?”
  • (Still as Jesus) "[The loaves and fishes]wasn't a miracle. Turns out, people were puttin' 'em back. Didn't like 'em."
  • "Fuck the children!"
  • "L.A. is a small woman saying, 'Fuck me.' New York is a large man saying, ‘Fuck you!’"
  • "Apparently, in Los Angeles, people will stand on a corner, even when there's no traffic (or very little traffic that you could easily dodge) and wait for a light to tell them that it's OK to proceed."
  • "If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem."
  • "Nigflot blorny quando floon!"
  • “Even in a Disney movie you can say, ‘Snatch that pussy and put it in a box.’”
My very favorite, since the first time I ever listened to him:
Ratshit! Batshit! Dirty old twat!
Sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot!
Hurray, lizard shit!


Sunday, June 22, 2008

Attitude Adjustment

With all the attitude I've been spewing all over the 'tubes the last few days, this struck me as an appropriate addition:

Once again, thanks to xkcd


Friday, June 20, 2008

More on the Midwest Floods

The guys over at Humid City have been doing this a lot longer than I have and say it better than I could:

stop me if you’ve heard this one before
Yes, please do stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Because the punch line stinks.

For those who lined up to laugh at and mock the people of New Orleans for their “stupidity”... – can you really look at what happened in Iowa and still believe all or any of that heartless bullshit you threw at us? Wouldn’t it be more productive to simply take a massive crap in your own hat?

The common thread here isn’t in the unpredictability of Mother Nature. The common thread is the bad, incomplete, poorly designed, poorly implemented, and badly kept structures brought to you by our own Army Corps of Engineers. And the jackasses in Congress, in the Senate, and in the White House who refuse again and again to give money back to taxpayers in the form they need it most; towards the basic protection of American citizens in their own homes.

Be sure to check this one out, as well:
Read all about President George W. Bush, going to Iowa after the devastating floods, saying he’s headed there “with the lessons I learned from Katrina.”

I would have used a lot more "fuck". So if you feel fucked out of your usual fucks, here you go: Fucking fuckity fuck.

Again thanks to Louis Maistros and Lord David over at Humid City.


Who needs science?

Ah, Louisiana...

Well, the ridiculous SB 733 - "The Louisiana Destruction of Science Education Act" passed all the way through both chambers, with a total of THREE votes against it. I am extremely disappointed with those I thought were above this sort of thing. I'm looking directly at you, Messrs Donahue, Lafleur and Lafonta.

It now moves on to Governor PBJ, who is certain to sign it because: a)It's obviously veto proof and he knows it. Why piss off the Christians for no purpose? b)He's a total pandering jackass when it comes to religion. I hope he does the right thing, but I've pretty much given up on this.

I guess I'll just wait until Tangipahoa tries to use it and Americans United, the ACLU and the FFRF jump on them with both feet. I hope it hurts. I'll need a heads up before the protests, OK guys?

Bigger voices than mine are in this fight already, and I don't have the energy for it. We are so ignorant that we deserve what we get.

Case in point:

BR man arrested, accused of having sex with his dog

While attempting to serve a warrant to a 46-year-old sex offender Wednesday, U.S. marshals stumbled upon the man having sex with one of his dogs in his backyard, an affidavit says.


Chaney, clad in only a white T-shirt and black slippers, was standing in front of a chair where a brown and white dog was standing, the affidavit says. Marshals observed Chaney try to penetrate the dog several different ways.

This was in the PAPER!! Now I know you're all thinking, "But, what, bullet, is one to do as an illit'rate resident of Loosiana (as if there's any other kind) who cain't read dem papers?"

Never fear, it was also on the NEWS!

Just kill me now.

Props to BigEZBear for the dog fucker links. Picture from Looking for Group.


On the Midwest Floods
"They all told us, `The levees are good...' "

From the AP on AOL: Midwest Flood Victims Feel Misled.

Same story, different headline in Idaho:
Flooded-out homeowners in the Midwest say FEMA gave them a false sense of security

Juli Parks didn't worry when water began creeping up the levee that shields this town of about 750 from the Mississippi River - not even when volunteers began piling on sandbags.

After all, local officials had assured townspeople in 1999 that the levee was sturdy enough to withstand a historic flood, and FEMA had agreed. In fact, some relieved homeowners dropped their flood insurance, and others applied for permits to build new houses and businesses.


"They all told us, `The levees are good. You can go ahead and build,"' said Parks, who did not buy flood coverage because her bank no longer required it. "We had so much confidence in those levees."
I feel for these people. I really, really do. This is so much bigger than the New Orleans flood. New Orleans was (mostly) flooded by a lake - 15 feet and then done. Rivers never stop. I will help in the only way I can, if I can, by donating to the Red Cross. But I have to ask:
Where the hell have you people been? Did you not pay any attention 3 years ago? Since? Maybe you should have.

Blame this on FEMA and the Corps of Engineers and the Federal Government (not just Bush). It's justified. Their levees leave a lot to be desired. But levee or no, you should have had insurance. Flood insurance is the cheapest protection you'll ever buy. Unless you live on a mountain or in the desert, you should have it. After all that happened down here, putting your faith in the CoE is just stupid.

I wonder how many of you have said in the last three years anything to the effect of "Why can't those people in Louisiana get it together?" "Why are they taking my money to rebuild?" "It's just going to happen again." "People shouldn't live there." Wait till everyone starts saying it about you.

Wait till you have to deal with the tragic bureaucratic disaster that is FEMA. Hope you like formaldehyde. And I wonder how many people are going to defraud the government this time around. I'll be sure to be just as shocked and angry as you were. For those that did have insurance, wait till your insurance companies try to screw you over, falsify engineering reports, try to trick you into giving up your coverage. And in the end, watch as the money you were promised, the help you desperately need, just sits and sits and sits in Washington and then is frittered away in "overhead" by the people who are supposed to be helping you.

I guess then you'll understand. But "they" still won't.
Maybe people will pay attention this time. If the majority of the country had actually cared about New Orleans for more than a few news cycles, this might have been prevented or at least mitigated.

Like I said, I feel for these people. My heart breaks for them. We know exactly what they're feeling now and we know what they face on the horrible road ahead. If I sound bitter, though, it's because I am.

Everyone needs to pay attention. For a long time. Until it's fixed.


Thursday, June 19, 2008

I love the internet

I've been having a really crappy couple of days. I know exactly why. I ran out of medicine on Monday and kept forgetting to get it refilled. 2 days with no meds = instant depression. Then I'm really irritable for a couple of days after I get started back up, so today hasn't been really peachy either.

Then I came across this on Penny Arcade:

I would love to know what sick bastard at Kellogs came up with this genius idea. I just spent the first three years of my sons life trying to get him not to eat blocks, and now you're telling him they taste like fucking strawberries. Thanks a lot assholes.

And then this, courtesy of the coolest seven-year-old blogger around

I feel a whole hell of a lot better.


Monday, June 16, 2008

With a cherry on top.
(why do we even bother?)

Some of the readers here probably remember JP. He came to atheism as an ex-Catholic by way of various Protestant experiments, just trying to figure everything out. Most atheists have made a similar journey and a great many people tried to help him with it. Now he's gone back to the Catholic Church. I thought perhaps his time trying to sort out belief vs. non-belief would have given him more insight into the thinking of non-believers that he could now convey to his brethren. Maybe dispel some misconceptions. So I stuck around. Made comments here and there. Shared his frustrations.

And this is what I get for my trouble. Indeed, what we all get for our efforts to help this man.

Here is how I see atheism: Imagine, if you will, a big pile of dog feces. On top of it, you see whip cream with a long stemmed cherry. From a distance it might look pretty good but the closer you get to it, you realize it stinks and it's misleading. That is atheism.

What I hold to be true is a pile of dog shit. With a cherry on top.

Thanks, JP. It seems your journey back to ignorant and superstitious bigotry is now complete.

Have fun.