Thursday, October 30, 2008

Obama is not the Messiah,

Drew Brees is.

I am so in love with this man. You think he can't possibly be that great, but he is. He's standing in London, about to spank the team that first broke him then fired him because he was broken, and what does he do?

On the edge of a soccer pitch masquerading as a football field, Drew Brees sold New Orleans.

"Just like London is one of those spots where people feel like they need to visit when they come to Europe," Brees said, "well, New Orleans is one of those spots that if you're European and you're coming to the States and you want to know where to go, hey, come to New Orleans. I think the culture is unlike any other in our country and, certainly, you want to share that with the world."
I know that he's just a football player and that one day he'll be traded off to another team or get pissed off and leave. When he talks about the city, though, I don't doubt for a moment that he's here to stay. New Orleans, broken as she was, wrapped her arms around him and said, "You're home."

So many people have done this in the last three years. It still gets me right in the gut when I think about it.

I never had a choice, but they did and they picked her.
"There are a lot of things that still need to be done. But, in a lot of ways, I think New Orleans has come back better than ever."
Thanks Drew. We love you, too.

And thanks to Cait at Shrimp Poboy for pointing this out. Don't know how I missed it last week.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Trent Reznor on New Orleans

From Offbeat magazine:

I grew up in Pennsylvania in a small town, and every time we’d come to New Orleans, it felt like another planet. It seemed like the weirdest place I had ever been. It wasn’t an overwhelmingly big city to me, but the culture, the tradition, the smell of the air, and the way it looks—things I never paid attention to like architecture. What I grew up seeing was steel row architecture. Houses you lived in, you didn’t see as art. They just functioned. And to see a sense of tradition, and the people I met. You can drink a beer outside! Oh my God! It was just mind-blowing.
There's more. What he says about New Orleans is filled with the inexplicable love and attachment that grabs so many people who visit this city and convinces them to stay. Growing up here, I knew I was in a different place, but didn't realize until I left exactly how different. I simply knew that I would be back, eventually. I really like these perspectives from "outsiders" who came inside, people who were grabbed by New Orleans and brought close to her bosom. Makes me feel less crazy.

I remember running into Trent Reznor at Decatur House almost every time I came home from school. There were always guys from big bands in some bar or another. They were in town to play at House of Blues or one of the festivals and hung out in holes to listen to great music. It was one of those cool, ordinary things that happen in NOLA. Trent lived here, though, and that somehow made him different. I never talked to him. He always looked really nervous. Maybe he was just there to score. Sadly, Decatur House is no more, so I guess I'll never know.

One more quick quote:
It was the first time I lived in a place and I really enjoyed being there. You never feel out of place.
Yeah, he gets it.

Props to oyster at YRT for the heads-up.

I guess you can't have everything

When I left for work this morning gas was $2.62/gallon. Now it's $2.44! WTF?

In other news, the Wendy's I frequent has misspelled "Rasberry" on their sign.

Ah, well.

Those Wacky Terrorists!

Al-Qaida-linked Web site backs McCain as president

WASHINGTON (AP) — Al-Qaida supporters suggested in a Web site message this week they would welcome a pre-election terror attack on the U.S. as a way to usher in a McCain presidency.
I'm sure there are Americans who would welcome that. Maybe not the assholes rooting for Gustav, but some.
The message, posted Monday on the password-protected al-Hesbah Web site, said if al-Qaida wants to exhaust the United States militarily and economically, "impetuous" Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain is the better choice because he is more likely to continue the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
This is terrible! How lucky are we to have such brave and selfless agents at the CIA, the FBI and the NSA to alert us to this upcoming danger!

Wait, what? They aren't involved?

Read More...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

October surprise?
Inside Obama's Secret Gay Muslim Mafia Love Nest

I've been thinking lately that McCain has been far too calm and sure of himself as he's getting his ass handed to him in the polls. I figure he must have something saved up. I bet it's better than Colin Powell.

Maybe this is it.

Who the hell is Mike Signator?

Some excerpts from Politico:

Technically, Signator's job is to provide "supplemental security support" for Obama's presidential campaign

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For security reasons , Obama's presidential campaign refuses to reveal the details of Signator's role, but LaBolt said it brings Signator into frequent, close contact with the Obamas.

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The campaign press staff — which at first denied that Signator worked for the campaign, then discouraged Politico from writing about him — declined to set up an interview.
Since we're talking about Chicago, here, I'm thinking Organized Crime on this one. Maybe he's Obama's secret gay lover. That's why Michelle always looks so uptight!

Whatever. I'm sure I'll know Joe the Plumber's underwear size before I know who this guy is and why they're so dead set on keeping him secret.

Here's his picture:

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Friday, October 17, 2008

This goes out to the Philosopher King

T.S. Eliot

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Concision is Overrated: Repetition is the New Concision

Concision is overrated. Repetition is the new concision.

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Monday, October 13, 2008

My NYC New Revenue Proposal: The Civilian Ticket Patrol

Okay, I am preparing myself for a veritable FLOOD of comments, not to mention people with pitchforks and torches outside of my door. Damn! I think they’re here. Read fast!

In the recent blog entry I’d posted about congestion pricing, I did something out of literati-wanna-be character for myself. I panned a plan without offering an alternative solution. I did so to stay on topic, of course, but also because I’d already skull-numbed Chappy and Bullet with two epic posts in a week. I’m sure the slight misuse of the oh so common words “autocentric” and “nary” didn’t help with flow. This blog entry will, in fact, offer one alternative solution to raising revenue in NYC whilst curtailing traffic and gridlock in Manhattan proper, if not the city at large. But, the content of this suggestion will doubtlessly ruffle enough feathers that there’ll be a virtual dirt nap in my blogging future. Here Lies Pockets, Rest In Pants.

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Friday, October 10, 2008

Douchebaggery FTW!

If you saw this week's ridiculous Monday Night Football game, you should go read what Jeffrey had to say about it.

After five or ten minutes of jeers from the fans, Hochuli offered his explanation. The ruling, delivered in a confounding Sarah Palin-esque verbiage, seemed to state that, yes, the ball was coming out as the player was going down but since his hand was still kind of touching the ball as his knee hit the ground, Minnesota retains possession.
Seriously. It's a great post, even if you aren't a football fan or couldn't give a shit about the New Orleans Saints.

Kitten v. Toothbrush
One for the ages.

Go ahead and waste 4 minutes of your day.



You can thank me later.

Props to Cajun Boy.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Houston Texans prove me wrong

I'd like to think that I admit it when I'm wrong. I don't, but I'd like to think so. My standard excuse is, "If I was wrong, it was because key information was withheld."

Here, though, that's not the case.

I stated last month that if the Houston Texans could manage to host a home game this season, we could discuss the comparative rebuilding prowess of Texas and Louisiana. Well, they did.

But they cheated.

Officials expect that all eight of Houston's home games this season will be played with the roof open.
I realize I was not specific when I threw out my challenge.
Hell, when you manage to host a home football game before the end of the season, we can talk about who's better in a crisis.
They managed to do that and I will admit that they dealt with their football problem better than we did. One can only imagine what the Saints 05-06 season would have been like if Superdome officials had been as forward thinking as the folks at Reliant Park. "Fuck it," they would have said. "We'll just play with the son-of-a-bitch broken."

Texas: If it ain't fixed, leave it broke.

Though the Texans played well, they blew a 17 point lead in the last four minutes.

They choked, because that's what happens to dirty, sneaky cheaters.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What's in there? Kryptonite?
Kidney Stones and the Conscience Clause

I just made an appointment for a CAT scan. It's just kidney stones, try not to be too disappointed. After giving the nice lady (Cheryl) all the usual information the medical industry requires to make sure they'll get paid, I was asked for an emergency contact and then what I thought was a strange question.

Cheryl: "Would you like to tell me your religion?"

bullet: "Umm... No?"

Cheryl: "Ok, then we'll see you on Friday!"

The only reason I can imagine they would need to know my religion is in case I die or am near death. That is a scary thing to contemplate. I'm sure it's just another blank on the standard form, but still: What the fuck are they going to be shooting at me? Or filling me up with, since there's some kind of dye involved in the other procedure, a "KUB", which I've had before and it's lovely. Here I am using "lovely" to mean "the most painful experience I've ever had to endure". Last time it involved lying half naked on a metal table while the barium dye pushed VERY HARD on the enormous kidney stone that was, quite frankly, painful enough without the help. The other kidney was working just fine, but, of course, I couldn't go pee until they were done. To top it all off, the crap they gave me didn't even come out a cool color, just clear. It seems to me the least they can do is turn your pee blue or purple or something.

As you can probably tell, I am very much looking forward to it.

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Thursday, October 2, 2008

Congestion Pricing: Be A Snot-Nosed Rich Prick

Yes siree, if you live in the U.S. of A. it’s coming for you, and the only thing you can do to stop it is to keep an ear to the ground and recognize the greenback beast in all its many incarnations. The idea of congestion pricing, adding new tolls to some or all inbound roads into a city or central business district in the name of traffic control, is a sneaky shape-shifter of an idea recently, but barely, shot down for New York City. I’ve no doubt that it will be revisited, mayor after mayor, snot-nosed rich advisor after snot-nosed rich advisor, and suggested as a solution to every deficit until kingdom come. Learn to fight it here.

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